The Tekkit Genderbent Universes Dilemma
by MrLRocks78
Summary: Upon discovery of a strange portal in one of his age-old computer files, LividCoffee decides to make said portal, a male and female symbol connected. Unfortunately, the boys end up being sucked into a parallel universe! It's a good thing it's not unlike their own... save for the flipped genders of themselves and all their friends. Rated T for Yogscast.
1. Chapter 1: The Mysterious Portal

_Author's Note: Well, here you go! The official fanfic version of the Tekkit Genderbent Universes Dilemma story ark, from my apparently-popular Random Bag of Yogscast One-shots. Enjoy!_

The sun of Tekkitopia blazed down on the Jaffa Factory, sunbeams glancing off of its marble walls. The towering factory was really a spectacle to behold, its looming presence before the Jaffa Cafe, Brewery and currently empty Hot Dog Stand casting a glorious kind of aura across the little town-like cluster of buildings before it. However, the beauty outside was going quite unnoticed by its inhabitants: Xephos the spaceman, Honeydew the dwarf, LividCoffee or Lalna the scientist, and Sips and Sjin of Sips Co.

"XEPHOS!"

"WHAT?!"

"DO WE HAVE ANY GLOWSTONE?!"

"NO, I DON'T THINK SO!"

"WAIT, I HAVE SOME!"

"WHERE ARE YOU?!"

"OUT BY THE COW SLUG!"

"OKAY, JUST STAY THERE!"

The blonde, blue-eyed scientist flew out of the bright, technicoloured chute and almost literally burst through the door. He pushed his goggles up out of his eyes and screeched to a halt mid-air, where he saw a ginger-bearded dwarf petting a cow happily while a contraption nearby sucked out bucket after bucket of milk.

"Awww!" cooed Honeydew happily. "Who's a good cow? You're a good cow!"

"Honeydew?" said Lalna, slowly descending. "Um, you said you had some glowstone."

The CEO of Honeydew Inc. looked up at his factory, confused. "Wha... you were INSIDE the Factory?"

"Yeah...?"

"Why could I hear you as if you were just over there?" asked Honeydew, pointing to the giant egg where they bred their chickens.

Livid looked over at said egg, frowning, before shrugging. "I'm sure there's a scientific explanation. Now what about that glowstone?"

"There's a scientific explanation for effin' everything," muttered Honeydew, before answering out loud to Lalna, "Um, here."

The dwarf threw a handful of glowstone dust at the scientist that almost rendered said scientist's field of sight to be nothing more than golden sparkly powder. LividCoffee scooped up the glowstone dust happily and flew off without so much as a "thank you".

"How DARE he fly off happily without so much as a thank you!" exclaimed Honeydew indignantly. He turned back to the cow next to him only to find it gone. "Hey! Bessie? Where are you? Come to papa!"

* * *

"Let's see here," murmured Livid, glancing at the printed-out screenshot before back to the condensed glowstone blocks in his hands. "So a square with a two-by-two space... then that... okay, so like an arrow..."

As he murmured, the scientist snapped his goggles over his head and set to work. The bright day turned to darkest night, and although he was aided by the glowstone's natural light, he messed up quite a lot, eventually having to bring out a crafting table and extra glowstone dust just in case. When he was done, Lalna stepped back to admire his handiwork.

"Perfect!" exclaimed Livid, looking at the glowstone creation. "Looks like the file's picture _exactly_."

The creation was strange and complicated, although drawn on paper by hand it wouldn't be. It was the boy symbol - a circle with a kind of arrow - connected to the girl symbol - a circle with a cross connected. The tip of the arrow merged into the bottom of the cross, to make a suspended, lopsided kind of glowstone-y portal of sorts.

Suddenly, Xephos, Honeydew, Sips and Sjin came out of the Factory. Each one looked exhausted, and it was even more so illuminated by the near-invisible glow of the glowstone.

The spaceman's jaw nearly hit the ground. He closed it, then opened it again, before trying to say a few words and ending up stammering like all hell. Finally, he managed to splutter, "What the _hell _is this?!"

Lalna held up the printed-out version of his sculpture for the others to see. "I was going through my old files last week, deleting the stuff I didn't need and so on. And THEN I found... this! A supposedly magical portal that had been scientifically proven to work! There wasn't much on it, though, so I decided - "

"To build a giant glowstone portal thing in the middle of the egg rollercoaster?!" exclaimed Honeydew angrily.

"It is a pretty well-built portal," commented Sjin.

"Yeah, using glowstone really lessens the need for torches," added Sips.

Livid gave in to a glorious facepalm. "Just... just LISTEN!"

The scientist turned to face the portal happily. "This portal is said to open up a gateway to another dimension, maybe even parallel to ours! It's pret-ty cool. Now does anyone have any flint and steel?"

"I would NORMALLY, but for some reason I can't pick one up," muttered Honeydew.

"Thank God," smirked Sips.

Sjin, however, decided to be useful, and rummaged around in his pocket before withdrawing a flint and steel. He held out the fire-birthing tool to the scientist. "Here you go! But don't break it, I need it."

"Thanks," said Livid, striking a flame from the tool and shoving it in his pocket without so much as giving it back to Sjin. The flame landed on the glowstone of the boy sign, then suddenly flickered and spanned into a sheet of rippling, contorting Nether portal purple. Then, he withdrew a Destruction Catalyst from his lab coat and activated it on the Nether portal stuff.

There was an almost deafening shimmering sound, making all five snap their hands around their ears and yell in shock and slight pain. When they looked up, the glowstone had turned into an impenetrable black, blacker and denser than obsidian. Sjin blinked, bemused. Xephos was evidently too pissed to speak.

"That's black," remarked Sjin.

"That's racist," snapped Sips.

"Ooooooooh," cooed Honeydew curiously. Lalna smirked self-satisfiedly. Not only had the stone changed, but also the portal substance, from purple to a pure, almost blinding white.

"It's a very interesting procedure," continued Lalna, walking up to the portal and peering inquiringly into the white. "You see, the glowstone is needed thanks to the slight magic it gives out, and the flint and steel - "

The scientist went off into a rambling speech about something or other related to the portal. The two Sips Co-ians walked up to the portal as well, Sips trying to peer over Livid's shoulder. Xephos walked up to them as well, but cautiously as opposed to excitedly.

"Um, do you know WHERE this thing goes?" asked the spaceman tentatively.

"No idea," replied Livid. "I have many theories on that, however - "

He was cut short as Honeydew pushed them all in before leaping in after.


	2. Chapter 2: Unexpected Visitors

_Author's Note: Oh-ho-hooooh! Time for some genderbent description! ...Okay, not very exciting. Or funny. BUT, but, it IS crucial! To me, anyways.  
_

Meanwhile, in another dimension, a young spacewoman was rushing around a large, marble, pillar-like factory, constructed for the sole purpose of delivering jaffa cakes worldwide. Her arms were filled with glowing blocks caked in a fine golden powder. Of course, she was carrying a large stack of glowstone. She had shoulder-length brown hair, with sharp blue eyes filled with intelligence and bravery. At her hip swung a Red Matter sword.

"HONEYSUCKLE!" she screamed. "DO WE HAVE ANY MORE GLOWSTONE?!"

"WHY DO YOU NEED SO MUCH GLOWSTONE ANYWAYS?!" yelled back the woman supposedly known as Honeysuckle.

The spacewoman sighed. "WEREN'T YOU LISTENING AT THE BRIEFING?"

"NO!"

A facepalm. _That's so typical of her..._ Suddenly, all the glowstone toppled out of the spacewoman's arms, due to her exasperated facepalm. She swore vehemently, then stooped to snatch up all the glowing items. Of course, as she was scrabbling around on the floor, someone just _had _to come by and see her.

She was around her age, but clad completely differently. She had long blonde hair that fell about her like a curtain (a very messy, tangly, oil-stained curtain). A pair of goggles was perched atop her head, and underneath them sky-blue eyes sparked with knowledge. She was dressed in a sweeping white lab coat, and had gloves that everyone assumed was made of rubber.

"Erm, Zephari?" said the scientist, helping said spacewoman to her feet. "Are you oka- Oh, wow! Thanks! This is just the stuff I needed!" She ducked down and sweeped up all the glowstone in one go.

"Thanks for the concern, Talna," muttered Zephari, brushing off the glowing golden particles clinging to her clothes.

"That's TwistedTeacup, to you," amended the scientist, before dashing off with her arms filled with glowstone. She barked out something to someone, and that someone answered briefly before flying up into view.

"Oh, hi, Jacin," greeted Zephari dully.

Jacin was a strange girl. She was handy with a laser, which made her formidable, but insisted on dressing in her company's uniform at all times. Secretly, Zepahri suspected her of being too lazy to change out. She had sweeped-back brown hair and chocolate-brown eyes, and a voice that suggested that she was happy all the time. Of course, that wasn't true.

"Oh, hello Zeph," smiled Jacin. "Er... you have some... um..."

Zephari blinked as Jacin pointed vaguely at her face. Then, it clicked. The facepalm... the glowstone dust... Zephari swore before thanking Jacin briefly and dashing out, her flying ring making a strange ringing noise that indicated the consumption of fuel.

On her way down, Zephari bumped into Nips, who was coming out of the storage floor. She had grey skin, which was due to a vitamin deficiency, according to Jacin (who was her best friend). Her raven-black hair was ruffled and messily cut short. She had dark eyes, and an almost eternal frown. She was also dressed up in her company's uniform (Nips Co.), although she said that she preferred to wear her blue plaid jacket and pants. Apparently, lamps had killed her father.

"Hey, watch it, Zeph!" exclaimed Nips. She was easily riled.

"Sorry, Nips," apologised Zephari, hovering in mid-air.

Nips shook her head exasperatedly. "Man, Zephari, you can't just go bumping into people. Especially with egg on your face."

"Um, it's glowstone," snapped Zephari.

"Really?" said Nips, cocking her head and squinting. "Oh yeah. It looks like extra-sparkly egg from here."

Zephari sighed, but resisted the urge to facepalm. Instead, she descended rapidly and landed on the ground Factory floor, where she saw her best friend and dwarven lady, Honeysuckle, dropping off some junk accumulated in her inventory into the dump chest.

She had dark eyes, like Nips, but softer. Her curly ginger hair was mostly hidden by a war helmet she liked to wear. However, she more than made up for it with her spectacular ginger beard, that grew from cheek to jowl. Nips constantly teased her, but when on any other girl it would look terrible, Honeysuckle managed to make it look amazing and grand. Probably due to her dwarvish nature.

She wore some kind of adventure kit-suit-thing that covered her forearms, shoulder and breasts (which were really quite voluminous). Her legs were armoured above the comfortable leather pants she wore, and she went everywhere with her diamond pickaxe. Zephari had had to use one of her special "spells" to prevent her destructive friend from picking up or crafting TNT, flint and steel, or any kind of tool that could destroy a large area quickly. However, she was very funny and likeable.

And a flirt. A biiiiig flirt.

"Hi, Honeysuckle," greeted Zephari. "Um, do you have a bucket of water or something?"

Honeysuckle turned around and promptly burst out laughing. "HAHAHAHAHAHA! By Score! HAHAHAHA! Haaah... Ah... ahhh... d-did... what did you DO?!"

"Facepalm a huge amount of glowstone dust into my face," replied Zephari grimly.

The dwarf doubled over in laughter, her sides shaking furiously. After a while, she straightened up and handed out a bucket with trembling hands.

"T-take it..." giggled Honeysuckle. "Oh, girl, you NEED it!"

"Shut up," snapped Zephari, before sprinting through the front door.

Suddenly, the spacewoman screeched to a dead halt. She felt her jaw fall open, and stumbled back, a faceful of glowstone dust now her least problem.

There was a tangle, a pile, of bodies, right in front of her and behind the noticeboard. They all appeared to be male, and were all unconscious. But the scariest thing was how much they _looked _like them. There was Honeysuckle's beard, on this strange dwarf-man's face... And Teacup's goggles, and the uniforms of Nips Co. And...

And that man? On the top of the pile? Zephari shuddered as she saw how much he _looked_ like her. Sure, there was the facial hair, but that was to be expected. What was REALLY freaky was that he had a Red Matter sword, he had the same hair, same clothes, same... same _everything_!

And then came the fact that he was a _guy_.


	3. Chapter 3: Spacepeople's Awkwardness

_Author's Note: Omigoshomigoshomigosh! Just saw the latest Jaffa Factory Tekkit episode, Part 88 - Keep Calm and Eat Jaffas. Let's just say that there's a little surprise at the end... *winks* Anyways! Am super happy about the whole thing, and I'm juuuust saying that this takes place BEFORE that. Yah. Soz. And if you haven't checked it out yet... DO SO! Also (man I love saying that), all stories are on hiatus except for this one and the Random Yogscast One-Shot Bag thingy.  
_  
"Nnngh..." Xephos reached out a hand to feel his head. There seemed to be tiny jackhammers hammering away in his jacked-up head, thus resulting in the jacked-up jackhammer result. He blinked his eyes open, even though there seemed to be three-ton lead weights attatched to them. He looked up... his vision came into focus... and saw _her_.

A woman. With hair like him. Eyes like him. Posture like him. And, when she opened her mouth, she had a voice like him.

"Um... excuse me?" she said tentatively. "I... don't know who you are, but... well..." She made an open-armed gesture. "I guess you can see that I look a LOT like you..."

Xephos did nothing. He gaped. A lot. This... was this the alternate universe they had stumbled upon? Looking around, he saw the same Factory, the same outdoor food court, the same rollercoaster and cow slug... And yet there was this woman who looked so much like him standing before him.

She stuck out a hand. Xephos took it blindly and allowed him to be pulled up to his feet. Then, he spoke. "Um, is this Honeydew Inc, by any chance?"

The woman-Xephos blinked. "Um, do you mean Honeysuckle Industries? We... um, 'participate in the baking and shipping of jaffa cakes'."

Xephos couldn't help but laugh. "Wha... Honeysuckle? Industries? Wow, I wonder what Sips Co. is..."

"What?" said the woman, confused, and also a bit ticked off now by the looks of things. "Nips Co. is the only other industry I know of around here..."

Xephos blinked, and tried to shake away the confusion of this all. It was all a bit too much. "Okay, then... um, this is gonna sound crazy, but... I come from another dimension. Probably a parallel one."

"A parallel dimension?" said girl-Xephos, evidently confused.

"Well, yeah," said Xephos. "Um, I'm guessing that this 'Honeysuckle' character is a... dwarf?"

Girl-Xephos blinked, bemused. "Well, yes, actually."

"Does she have a beard?" persisted Xephos.

"Yeah, but-"

"And is there a scientist in there?"

"Yes, Twis-"

"And are there two dirt traders working for you right now?"

"_Yes_," interrupted girl-Xephos, clearly surprised. "Well, I guess I can't deny that you come from an alternate dimension... So does the Jaffa Factory look different?"

"No, actually," said Xephos. "And I'm kind of surprised. But then again, not so much... I guess it's only the genders that have changed."

"Mmmm..." was all girl-Xephos said.

A very awkward few seconds passed. Then, Xephos cleared his throat. "So... what's your name?"

"Zephari," said his counterpart, latching onto the conversation like a drowning man clinging to a life raft. "Yours?"

"Xephos." They shook hands. Xephos looked behind him casually, and felt a little shock as he realised that his unconscious friends were still piled on top of each other. Zephari seemed to notice too, for she said awkwardly, "Um, we can put them in the Jaffa Cafe if that's alright with you..."

"Yeah, good idea," said Xephos, nodding as he grabbed Honeydew by the arms. He tugged fruitlessly at the dwarf, who was far heavier than he appeared, then looked up at Zephari. "Ah, little help?"

* * *

"There we go," sighed Zephari, stepping back from the bed.

The other four Tekkit boys had been put in their corresponding beds. Xephos had introduced his unconscious pals, though small talk between the others and Zephari wasn't exactly the easiest thing to accomplish. It had taken Zephari a while to get used to their names, Sips' one being the one she stumbled over mostly.

"S-sorry," stammered the spacewoman, blushing slightly. "Ah, I'm just so used to saying 'Nips'..."

"I'm used to saying 'Honeydew'," pointed out Xephos, and they shared a laugh.

Xephos looked out of the window to the pillar-like Factory. "So..."

"Mmm," said Zephari again.

After a few more horribly awkward seconds, Xephos ventured, "I'd like to, um, be introduced with your... friends. Is that alright?"

"Yeah, I don't see why not," replied Zephari. "Although it'll be a bit hard for them to get around the concept of you coming from an alternate dimension and all..."

"Honestly, it's taking _me _a while to get my heard around it," admitted Xephos, as Zephari led him out of the Cafe.

"Well, I'm sure you'll get along just fine," replied Zephari happily. "Tally was working on this huge project that needed a TON of glowstone, so-"

"Wait, _glowstone_?" demanded Xephos. "That was what Lalna used to make that portal to get us here in the first place!"

Zephari smiled, something that Xephos did not expect her to do. "Well, then it looks like _she'll_understand, at least."

Xephos shook his head and put a hand to his temple suddenly. Zephari looked at him, concernedly.

"Are you alright, friend?" she asked.

"I'm... fine..." murmured Xephos, blinking and regaining his composure. "It's just... a lot to take in. A new dimension, and all..."

"AND I didn't really spot a giant glowstone portal either," added Zephari fearfully. "I'm afraid there's no way you can go home..."

Xephos waved this away without really knowing what he was saying. "Don't worry, this 'Tally' of yours MUST have enough glowstone to make the portal... Besides, we probably won't go home immediately. Livid wanted to collect new data or something anyway."

Zephari giggled. "Cool, but just an FYI, Talna HATES being called Tally."

Xephos thought for a minute. "Lalna's never said anything about nicknames..." Then he laughed out loud. "Remind me to call him 'Lallipop' when he wakes up."

Zephari laughed too, caught up in the moment. As they walked towards the Factory, none of them heard the stirring of one particular dwarf in a Cafe in a parallel dimension.


	4. Chapter 4: Giant Headcanon

_Author's Note: Hai. Sup. Yeah. Umm, quick little headcanon thing, Honeydew's bed is still over the giant head. Um yah not important stuff blllleerarhahr. Also INTER-DIMENSIONAL SHIPPING BAHAHHAHAHA  
_  
"Nnnnngh..." murmured Honeydew, opening his dark eyes to the friendly sight of the Jaffa Cafe's interior. The dwarf sat up and looked around, confused. He put a hand to his head to try and still the aching he felt.

Looking around, Honeydew saw Lalna, sleeping like a brick in his bed. Looking through the door separating them and the Sips. Co-ians, he saw Sips and Sjin dozing away peacefully. Now that was all well and proper... but WHERE THE HELL WAS XEPHOS?!

"Xeph?" Honeydew called out quietly. No answer. Honeydew frowned and tried to remember what he had been dreaming about. Lalna had built a weird portal... and then they had seen it, and... well, he had pushed them all in. Honeydew felt a smile tug his mouth up.

The dwarf eventually figured that Xephos was out working on the Factory. He tended to do that. Maybe the night just drew him in, reminded him of space. His home. Honeydew shook his head as he grabbed his diamond pickaxe.

That was a weird thought. Xephos... thinking about his home _before _him. Before Honeydew. Before Israphel, and Livid, and Sips Co. and just all this craziness in general...

Honeydew shook his head mentally to clear it. Stealing out into the night, Honeydew peeked around the front door before walking out.

A light breeze of nightly wind flew into Honeydew's face, and he shivered. He was so used to the underground, and yet his adventures in Tekkitopia had levelled his reaction to the surface world somewhat. That was good, at least.

The dwarf looked up to the towering Jaffa Factory, and squinted. Well, he couldn't see anyone on the roof, and - looking around - Xephos didn't seem to be flying around anywhere, so that was okay.

Honeydew turned to go back inside, suddenly feeling extremely sleepy, when something caught his eye. Turning, he gaped as he saw a scientist. Woman. A _scientist woman_! And she looked so much like Lalna! She was hovering around the brewery, working on the egg rollercoaster.

_I never knew Livid had a sister, _thought Honeydew, as he approached her. She looked friendly, but he wasn't going to try and flirt with her. That would be creepy. And Lalna was known to have a bit of a short temper.

Instead, Honeydew waved. "Um, hello there, friend!"

Lalna's sister looked around and gasped. She was really quite pretty.

"No need to be frightened," assured Honeydew, approaching her. "I'm Honeydew, of Khaz Modan!"

Lalna's sister blinked bemusedly. "Um, are you related to Honeysuckle by any chance?"

"Honeysuckle?" said Honeydew, confused. "Ah, no. Are you related to Lalna by any chance? Coming to visit, maybe?"

"Who?" The scientist now looked as confused as Honeydew felt. She shook her head. "Um, I think you're confusing me with someone else, sir... My name is TwistedTeacup. Ah, you can call me Talna."

"T-Talna?" Honeydew didn't know why, but his dwarvish instincts told him that there was something REALLY weird going on here. He looked at the Jaffa Factory nervously, as the memories of Livid's weird portal came flooding back.

Twisted looked at Honeydew, evidently concerned for the dwarf. Possibly for his sanity. "Um, d'you want to come in, sir?"

"Oh, you can call me Dew," replied Honeydew, forcing his voice to sound somewhat cheery. "And, sure! Do... you possibly have any jaffa cakes in that Factory?"

Talna giggled. "You remind me so much of someone I know... And, yes, I do! In fact, one of my friends have introduced to us someone who looks a lot like her... like a twin brother or something."

"Twin brother, huh?" said Honeydew, as Talna led the dwarf towards the Factory. In any other situation, he would have made the obvious connection instantly. However, all the dwarf was thinking of was the deliciousness of the soon-to-be jaffa cakes in his mouth.

Oh, and how Twisted looked cute in those goggles.

* * *

"This place looks so similar to where I'm from," remarked Xephos, looking around. "I mean... look! That pink lamp is even still there!"

Zephari followed her counterpart's gaze to the extremely annoying out-of-place pink lamp. She laughed. "Yeah, that's annoyed all of us. But we keep it there, just because we're all too lazy to change it."

"We have the same problem back home," assured Xephos, and they both laughed.

"OI! ZEPHARIES!"

The two space counterparts looked back, to be greeted by the as-ever grumpy sight of Sips-girl, Nips. She had pursed lips, punk-style cut dark hair, and (for lack of a better word) quite voluminous breasts.

"Listen, Zeph, while you and your boyfriend slack off, there's work to be done," scolded Nips angrily. "I mean, there's a Code Gold down at the bakery, for Score's sake!"

"Code Gold?" repeated Xephos dimly.

"My glowstone spillage," explained Zephari curtly. "Yeah, um, sorry about that, Nips. Suckle and Jacin should be cleaning it up, right?"

Nips snorted. "Really? Suckle? CLEANING? You may be right about Jacin, but Honeysuckle is stuffing her face with jaffas."

"As always," sighed Zephari.

"Old habits never change," added Xephos. "But don't worry, I'll clean it up for you."

Nips raised a thin, non-pencilled eyebrow. "Really? A guy pulling his weight around here?"

"We don't know many guys like that," said Zephari shyly.

The other woman snorted. "Oh, c'mon. Salty's the only guy I know who ACTUALLY does hard manual labour."

"I'm assuming that's your equivalent of MintyMinute," remarked Xephos.

"What, don't ya mean SaltySecond?"

Zephari facepalmed. "Erm, the whole 'alternate dimension' thing, remember, Nips?"

"Oh, yeah," said Nips. She shook her head. "Well, you best get your ass down there and get cleaning. It's gonna take FOREVER to get those sparkles out of the floor..."

With that, the CEO flew off. Xephos smiled slightly and turned to his counterpart.

"Thanks for the tour, Zephari, but I'm gonna go clean up now," said Xephos.

"You do that, pal," replied the spacewoman, smiling. "I'll go and find Twisted. She's been out a while."

With that, the counterparts separated, not one of them aware that a new player was just about to enter the game.


	5. Chapter 5: Do You Like Laldew?

_Author's Note: ~Makin' all your shipping nightmares come true! Du-doo!~ AHEM-HUM-HOO-HAY. Yeah, um hai... Just an FYI, I'll try not to put swearing. My brain does not allow it. ALSO... yah I suck at romance. Will try not to put too much.  
_  
"So... no wait, SERIOUSLY?!"

Twisted looked bemusedly at the dwarf who looked so much like her friend. He was regaling her of stories that, while extremely gut-bustingly funny, seemed almost exactly like the stories told by Honeysuckle and Zephari. Well... mostly Honeysuckle.

"And then Xephos was all like, 'WHAT THE EFF IS GOING ON HERE?!' And then Lalna - heh, you wouldn't _believe _this - he almost literally waltzed up to him, drunk out of his skull, and - "

" - did something that everyone except you has agreed not to mention from then on?" cut in Talna.

Honeydew laughed heartily, exactly like Honeysuckle's except deeper. "Y-yeah! Oh, man, it was so funny... And Livid didn't even _remember _what happened, and we were all like 'Ummmmm...'!" The dwarf laughed for a bit, and it was such a contagious laugh that soon Twisted was laughing too, and soon they were - for lack of a better word - LOL'ing furiously, tears of mirth springing to their eyes.

"Hah... hahaha... aaahhh..." Twisted drew a few deep breaths in an attempt to calm herself. Upon regaining her composure, she looked up to the night sky. They were on the roof of the Jaffa Factory, after Honeydew had insisted that he didn't need a tour, and that he knew the place very well. Something was off about this, but Talna didn't question it.

Honeydew looked up into the night sky, shoving his hands into his pockets. Talna cleared her throat. That unavoidable awkward moment passed when you've just broken into an uncontrollable bout of laughter, and the following silence just seems unnatural without said laughter filling it.

The dwarf cleared his throat and smiled. It was like Honeysuckle's, all bright and full of energy, somehow saying "I'm gonna have fun and you can't stop me!". Only that smile on this bearded man-sized dwarf just... well, she didn't know.

"So..." said Honeydew. "Um... do you have anyone working in that Factory apart from you?"

Talna laughed. "Heh, yeah. My friend - Honeysuckle, y'know the dwarf who looks like you? Well, she's the CEO of all this. Honeysuckle Inc, you know? And... then there's Nips and Jacin, though her real name's Jacinta, but don't tell her I said that. What else... oh, yeah, there's Zephari! She comes from space, used to work or live or something on this spaceship. She's a bit of an enigma, _and _she's Honeysuckle's best friend."

The scientist finished talking, and suddenly blushed. She had just realised that she had been babbling. What kind of a scientist babbles?

"Sorry," she said nervously, tucking a loose lock of blonde hair behind her ear. "Um... do you want to meet them?"

Honeydew smiled that smile again. "Heh, sure! They... remind me of some people I know, though... But I'm sure it's nothing!"

Suddenly, something clicked in Twisted's scientist brain. Some people he knew? The likeliness with Honeysuckle? What... But then Honeydew was smiling again, and she got that funny feeling.

"Um, sure!" said the woman, all too loudly. She smiled awkwardly, to cover up the situation, then turned around and jumped off the side of the Factory, Honeydew following after.

* * *

Jacin muttered something underneath her breath as she scrubbed away at the golden glittery congealing powder still stuck in the Factory floorboards. Nips was probably annoying people somewhere, which was so like her. Really, she could be a gun sometimes, but she never meant ill.

Then there was Talna, who she still held a grudge against after the war. But then again, Twisted did too. They both hid their ill feelings towards each other, sealing it away behind an impenetrable mental fortress.

Honeysuckle, as well. They weren't overly close, not at all. However, they could laugh with each other. But the main connection was through Zephari.

She had been the first person Jacin had befriended from Honeysuckle Inc. Even though Zephari had cost her her job, Jacin had gotten it back. And, let's face it, they were pretty tight.

Swearing, Jacin rubbed away at a particularly stubborn clot of glowstone. What the heck Talna needed all this stuff for was anyone's guess. But at least Jacin had learned something: cleaning glowstone could be a right pain in the -

"Hey! Jacin!"

Said Nips Co. member looked up at the sound of her name. Zephari had called it, and Jacin fully expected her to be armed with cleaning equipment, maybe a pair of rubber gloves borrowed from Talna. But what she didn't expect to see was a man. Who looked like Zephari. A lot. Armed with cleaning equipment.

_A man who looked a lot like Zephari armed with cleaning equipment?!_

Jacin got right up and uttered, in true Jacinta style, "What the bloody hell is going on here?!"

"Jacin, meet Xephos," replied Zephari, smiling slightly as she indicated the man - _spaceman_- standing an inch taller than her. "Xephos, meet Jacin."

He was so much like Zephari! Same hair (not facial, obviously), same clothes, same royal blue eyes...

"Erm, hi, Jacin," smiled Xephos. He _smiled _like Zephari, for Score's sake!

"Are you... her... twin brother?" asked Jacin, scrambling to her feet unconsciously.

Zephari laughed awkwardly. "Heh, yeah, um, about that..."

"I actually come from another dimension," replied Xephos.

Jacin blinked. Turned her head, from Zephari to Xephos and back. Then, she doubled over and cracked up laughing.

"HAHAHAHAHAHA! A... another dimension? That's impossible! HAH! As IF!"

Jacin continued giggling long after she had sobered herself up somewhat. Zephari frowned and folded her arms.

"Okay, so, really? D'you think I'd lie about something like that?" demanded Zephari.

Jacin wiped a tear away from her eyes and considered this. "Well... no, I don't," she finally admitted.

"And don't I look a TON like him?" continued Zephari, jerking a thumb in Xephos' direction.

"Yeah..." said Jacin, now uncertain.

"And have I EVER mentioned a twin brother to you guys?" finished Zephari.

"No..." sighed Jacin. "But... from another dimension? Come on, Zeph! Really? I mean, I can handle him being from... oh, I dunno, the Modlands or the Tiki Islands, but... come on, girl!"

"I swear to you, he just fell out of the sky! With four others piled on top of him!" snapped Zephari.

Xephos suddenly intervened by stepping in between the two and holding up his hands in a calming, surrending gesture. "Now, now, girls, no need to get into a catfight. Listen, Jacin, I can understand that you doubt that I come from a parallel dimension to yours, but - "

"Hey, guys!" called Talna's voice suddenly, from downstairs. "I'd like you to meet someone!"

"Knock, knock!" yelled another voice. Who sounded like Honeysuckle. A lot.

Xephos suddenly did quite a few things in quick succession. He paled, uttered an unforgiveable swearword, whirled around, sprinted for the glowing ring tunnel, jumped down it and yelled one loud word:

**"HONEYDEW?!"**


	6. Chapter 6: Enter, Sips Co!

_Author's Note: CLIFFHANGER!  
_  
Back in the Jaffa Cafe, two expert dirt traders were slowly coming to. First to rise was Sips, his vision blurring then shifting and then finally coming into focus. He looked over the foot of his bed at Sjin, who was also stirring. Raising his head sleepily, Sjin blinked once, twice, at Sips, then yawned widely and attempted to tame his bed hair through the elaborate art of fingercombing.

"Ugh, stupid knots," hissed Sjin. Suddenly, he seemed to realise that his best friend - and in some ways arch enemy - was watching him with a raised eyebrow. Immediately, he yanked his hand out of his hair, nearly pulling a generous chunk straight out of his scalp.

When Sjin was done swearing and hurling profanities at the world, Sips looked around and jumped out of bed. Not literally, seeing as he wasn't exactly in peak physical condition, but close enough.

Peering out of the newly-installed window, Sips commented, "Well, it looks like Lalna's portal didn't work."

"I agree," said Sjin, following Sips to the window. "Though it's anyone's guess how we got into those beds."

"Maybe it was some sort of phantom haunting the Factory," mused Sips.

Sjin scoffed. "That's stupid. The Factory was built last year, no-one's died onsite."

"Not YET," replied Sips spookily.

Sighing, Sjin shook his head at the rarely over-active imagination of his shorter friend, then turned to the other wing of the Cafe. "I can't see Xephos or Honeydew anywhere..."

"They probably went out to the Factory," said Sips. "Either that, or the Phantom of the Jaffa Factory got them."

Sjin chuckled at the ridiculousness of it all. "Well, we might as well go find them."

"Yeah, no point waking that guy up," agreed Sips, jabbing a thumb at the sleeping scientist in the next room. "He sleeps like a little babby."

"Or a brick," added Sjin, as they walked to the door. "Personally, I reckon he has the mental capacity of a brick. Or at least the looks."

"Definitely the looks," said Sips, snorting.

The Canadian was the first to exit the Cafe. In fact, everything looked the same. There was no giant glowstone portal in front of the Factory, that much was certain.

Yawning, the pale-skinned man looked up at the Factory. It was dark, nearing midnight. Sjin looked up as well, shutting the door behind him.

"Might as well go inside," suggested Sjin.

A split second after he said it, Notch decided to make it rain. No, scratch that. Notch decided to pour bucketful after bucketful of icy cold rainwater down on the two, forcing them to swear and make a split-second decision about where to bolt to.

"The Factory!" yelled Sjin, and he pushed past Sips and made a break for it, hands over his head. Sips followed suit.

Soon, the two spaceman-clad dirt traders were basking in the warm glow of the Jaffa Factory, soaked to the skin, dripping dirty rainwater onto the floor, and shivering as if they had hypothermia.

They almost immediately recognised a familiar face. The jolly, bearded face of Honeydew greeted them a few seconds after the duo had stepped inside. Of course, being Honeydew, said dwarf immediately burst out laughing.

"HAHAHAHAHA! Look at the SIGHT of you! HAHAHA! W-where were you?"

"In the Cafe," replied Sjin curtly.

"Go get us a towel or something, you bastard!" hissed Sips through chattering teeth. "I'm freezing here! I dunno about Sjin, his body temperature's wild - "

"Hey!"

" - but at least show some sympathy for a NORMAL human being?"

"Well, technically I'm a dwarf," said Honeydew, chuckling and guffawing in between almost every word. "But, hey, sure I can."

The dwarf threw back his head and bellowed, "TWISTED! D'WE HAVE ANY WOOL?!"

There was a distant female reply. "YEAH, JUST UP HERE! NO, HANG ON, I'LL COME DOWN FOR YOU!"

Sips and Sjin shot each other a curious look. Turning back to Honeydew, Sjin inquired, "Um, who was that?"

"Do you have ANOTHER girlfriend?" demanded Sips tiredly.

Honeydew laughed. "No, she's not my girlfriend. Gentlemen... please meet TwistedTeacup! Also known as Talna."

A few seconds later, a woman appeared clutching a jet-black towel and a pure-white one, one in each hand. The two Sips Co-ians stumbled back in shock. A moment of surprise passed.

"Hi," said Talna.

Sips replied by letting forth a glorious torrent of shocked, surprised, and generally flabbergasted swearwords.

* * *

"The men just keep comin' in," muttered Nips, folding her arms grumpily.

After drying the dirt traders, calming the scientist, and bringing the other inhabitants of the Factory up to speed, everyone had been brought in to the penthouse (much to Honeysuckle's dismay) to discuss the dilemma currently underway.

"Now THAT is one nice beard," complimented Honeydew, as he came in to be greeted by the sight of another female dwarf.

Honeysuckle gave her counterpart an appraising look. "Thanks! I don't normally get much comments on my beard. You don't look too bad yourself!"

"Too bad... or too fine?" asked Honeydew, stroking his beard and winking.

Honeysuckle smirked. "I do love a man with decent facial hair..."

"ALRIGHT, EVERYONE!" yelled Xephos. He had been stripped of his cleaning gear, and was heading the current discussion. "Could we all please gather round?"

They did so, Sips and Nips shooting each other fierce, hatred-fuelled glances.

"Alright," said Xephos again, clapping his hands together. "As you probably all know, there's been a slight issue with a certain portal. The boy version of the one Talna was building, to be precise. Now, this may be a bit hard to take in at first, but it'll sink in eventually."

"Get on with it!" hollered Nips. Jacin nudged her warningly.

Xephos took a deep breath. "Okay, then. Um, you might not believe this at first, but... we come from a different dimension."


	7. Chapter 7: When Two Lalnas Come Together

_Author's Note: Yup, stuff's coming together nicely!  
_  
Nips raised a thin eyebrow. "Excuse me?"

"Yes, it's true," added Zephari, standing up to pair with her counterpart. "They come from a parallel dimension to ours. A... _boy _version, to be precise."

"Zeph, do you really believe us to swallow that tall tale?" scoffed Nips.

Sips groaned to himself. "Out of all the parallel dimensions we had to end up in, we got one with the WOMEN of ourselves?"

Nips hurled a two-inch fingernail at him. "Shut your mouth, you doppleganger!"

"Hey, there's only _one _Sips here, and that's ME!" retorted Sips.

"**OKAY**!" screamed Zephari. "Okay..." she said again, calmly.

"Guys, it's all true," continued Xephos. "Lalna, the boy version of who you know as TwistedTeacup, made a portal he found in one of his computer files. Honeydew - " At this point a venemous glare was shot at said dwarf " - decided to push us in. Now, we have no way of getting back... unless you have sufficient glowstone."

At this, Xephos looked hopefully in Talna's direction. The scientist shrugged helplessly.

"Sorry, Ze- um, Xephos, but I don't have enough," replied Twisted sadly.

"Well, we go to the Nether and get some more, then!" exclaimed Nips. "How hard could it be?"

"But I want to see the boy version of me!" cut in Twisted.

"And we'd like to get to know each other better," added Jacin. Sjin nodded.

"_And _Lalna would be livid - heh, LividCoffee - if he found out his portal WORKED and he didn't end up seeing the dimension on the other side," finished Honeydew.

Xephos and Zephari looked at each other, then to each of their friends, male and female alike. As one, they sighed, and uttered in true Xephos-and-Zephari style...

"This is a disaster!"

* * *

Elsewhere, a certain scientist was tossing and turning. He was having a very hard time dozing back off into dreamland, because something was nagging him.

Niggling at the back of his advanced, genius, metaphorically-the-size-of-Cthulu brain, head, mental state, was a teeny tiny voice. And it was whispering something very, very, VERY annoying.

_Lalna..._

"Shut up," murmured the scientist, burying his blue-eyed head with its mop of fair hair deeper into the pillow. Which, as weird as it sounds, smelt different. Huh. Xephos had probably washed it earlier on without his knowing. Sometimes the scientist could be such a neat freak.

_Livid..._

Gritting his teeth, Lalna hit the side of his head continuously with his pillow. Apart from a slight ringing in his ears, nothing else had changed. In fact, the voice was louder than ever.

_Lalna... LividCoffee..._

"Ssssshhh," hissed Livid angrily. "Can't you see I'm trying to sleep here?!"

**_NOTCH DAMMIT, LALNA!_**

"HOLY SHI-" began Livid, then stopped and swore even more venemously as his head hit the back of the bed. Hissing and spitting and generally uttering things not exactly child-friendly, the scientist whirled around, trying to pinpoint the offender, the person of whom this annoying, sonofabitch voice belonged to.

_Hai, Lalna! _said the voice.

"Wait a second," murmured Lalna, massaging his temple. "Isn't this...?"

_Yeah, um, hi,_ said another voice. _It's Xephos here. Um... you know that mental communication thing you managed to invent?_

Groping at the back of his neck, Livid's fingers brushed up against a plastic-coated small black detachable nub. He quickly twisted it to one side and withdrew it.

"Um, yeah?" he said out into the open, feeling extremely foolish.

_Well, first off thanks for that,_ said Xephos. _Second... you _might_ want to take a look outside._

The scientist did so, leaping to his feet and peering out. He saw the Factory, Xephos, Honeydew, and the Sips Co-ians. All perfectly normal. But what made him swear in shock then let a broad grin break out all over his otherwise resigned, sometimes tired face was none of these.

No, it was the female versions of his friends lingering in the background.

* * *

"This... is... so... COOL!" exclaimed Lalna, quite unprofessionally.

"Oh my Score, it's true!" squealed Twisted excitedly. "It's... it's..."

"It's pret-ty cool," whispered Livid, uncontrollably beaming.

"_Amazing_!" continued Twisted, as the two scientists began circling each other. "So... it... you really _are _from another dimension?"

"I can't believe this!" uttered Livid happily. "I... I mean... WOW! This... oh Notch... so your god - ahem, goddess - is called Score?"

"And yours is Notch?"

"And you still produce jaffa cakes?"

"And your names are different?"

"And the machines haven't differed?"

"And your personalities have retained?"

"And the Tekkit War still happened?"

"And there still is some sort of rivalry going on between the scientists and the mages?"

The others watched the scientists rapid-fire questions at each other, barely drawing a breath, and none of them being answered. Well, to the bystanders. In reality, the lab-coat-clad counterparts could see their own unconscious body replies, a twitch of the hand or a double-blink of the left eye.

"Well," said Xephos while the scientist counterparts interrogated each other, "this is interesting."

"Very," agreed Zephari.

Sips and Nips surveyed the two scientists with dismay.

"So they're still unconceivable scientific babbies?" remarked Sips.

"Funny I was just about to say the same thing..." muttered Nips, shooting her counterpart a vicious, icy glare.

Meanwhile, Sjin and Jacin were trying to answer questions being fired at _them_. Specifically, the dwarven reasoning of Honeydew and Honeysuckle.

"So," said Honeydew triumphantly, "if Jacinta is Jacin's REAL name, does that mean that Sjin is just a shortening?"

"N-no," stammered Sjin, his hands twitching.

"We can tell that you're lying," remarked Honeysuckle.

"How?" demanded Jacin, folding her arms.

The two dwarves pointed at Sjin and Jacin's hands.

"They twitch when - " began Honeydew.

" - you lie," finished Honeysuckle.

"No they don't!" exclaimed Jacin, colouring furiously as she tried to still her jerking palms.

"Told - " started Honeydew.

" - you!" finished Honeysuckle.

The two space-hailers turned around curiously.

"Um, why are you finishing each other's sentences?" asked Zephari worriedly.

"We can't - " began Honeydew.

" - help it!" concluded Honeysuckle.

Xephos, Zephari, Sjin and Jacin looked at each other and sighed. What a dilemma they had gotten into.


	8. Chapter 8: Journey Into the Nether

_Author's Note: __Should I do a Shadow of Israphel genderbent fic? Hmmm. Say what you think in the reviews! Oh yah, in answer to WildSmilingPasta anon's review, girl version of Israphel is Pheisral (pronounced F-EYEZ-rull). Yeah I dunno either._

"Aaand... there we go!"

Lalna finished placing the last obsidian block victoriously. His female counterpart struck a flame from the flint and steel in her hands, and soon the flicker of fire had spread in a split second to a thin, swirling, purple vortex.

"Perfect!" remarked Xephos. "Now, all we do now is go into the Nether, get some freakin' glowstone, get out, make that portal, maybe poke around a bit, then go home. Easy!"

"Yes, easy," agreed Zephari. "Now, NONE of us are taking ANY unnecessary risks. No heroics. Got it?"

There was a murmur of assent. Nips called out, "What if we can't find any glowstone?"

"Yeah, that stuff sticks to the roof like stalagmites," added Sjin.

"Stalagmites or stalactites?" questioned Sips.

Jacin pondered this. "Um, stalagmites, I reckon."

"I prefer stalactites," replied Nips, shrugging.

"Look, it doesn't matter if they're stalagmites or stalactites, okay?!" snapped Xephos suddenly. "What matters is that we get glowstone. That's ALL we need. Okay? You cool with that?"

Silence. Then, another ripple of agreement. Xephos sighed.

"Okay, are we all geared up?" asked Zephari to the group at large.

Yet another murmur of confirmation. The two spacepeople looked at each other and nodded curtly, exchanging some hidden counterpart communication form for the briefest, slightest moment. Then, they both turned to face the Nether portal so expertly crafted.

Here would their adventure start. An adventure filled with Notch-or-Score-knew-what. An adventure with possible romance crap and such and such.

Each counterpart stood side by side. For some reason, they all knew that the worse was yet to come. And yet they would still step through that Notch-and-Score-damned portal.

If only they knew what was in store for them.

* * *

The Nether portal spewed them out, Xephos falling head-first in some Netherrack. The stuff felt like gravel and dirt mixed together, altogether quite unpleasant. The spaceman looked up and around at his surroundings. It looked much the same as back in his world, fire and lava everywhere. There was just one problem...

He had no freaking clue where he was.

Turning around, Xephos saw four others sprawled out in the Netherrack. He saw no sign of his counterpart, but Honeysuckle was present, as well as Jacin. Lalna was still with him, however, as well as Sips.

"Hey guys," said Xephos, as the others got up. "Where in Notch's name are we?"

Livid - the first to recover - looked around interestedly. "We seem to have built our portal a bit further on from where our original one was."

"We couldn't just use the original one?" muttered Sips angrily as he got up.

Lalna shrugged in reply. "We wanted to see how well we worked together, that was all."

"That is the most pathetic excuse I've ever heard from any kind of Talna EVER," uttered Honeysuckle, propping herself up on her diamond pickaxe. "You scientists just don't wanna admit that you, for once, didn't think things through!"

"Alright, enough arguing," declared Jacin suddenly. "We came here for glowstone, and glowstone we'll get!"

"Seems someone already took the easy pickings," remarked Xephos, looking around at his surroundings. The measly portions of glowstone were high up above them, clinging to the ceiling of the hellish otherworld. "And where the hell is the rest of us?"

Sips shrugged. "Beats me. Besides, I'd prefer to be rid of that stupid bi-"

"Sips, you're talking about yourself!" exclaimed Jacin suddenly, conveniently cutting the lumberjack off.

Livid smirked. "Wow, Sips, you're so antisocial you have to whine about YOURSELF?"

"Shut up," snapped Sips, swinging an iron axe at the scientist. Lalna stepped back swiftly and instinctively drew... a wrench?

"Huh? Since when did I ever pick up a wrench?" demanded the scientist.

Sips looked down at his iron axe, confused. "And since when did I get an axe?"

"And to think about it," added Honeysuckle, "I haven't picked up a _diamond_ pickaxe for, like, ever!"

Xephos blinked. Something weird was going on here... He went to draw his Red Matter sword, but felt his hand lay on the familiar, cool, durable diamond. Confused, he drew the sword singing from its scabbard. Since when did he have a scabbard?

"Okay, I am officially weirded out," said Jacin, drawing her mining laser. At least something was normal. "Have you guys realised something about your pockets?"

The other four checked theirs, and found that nothing else was in their possession apart from the weapons they were holding.

"You think there was something weird about the portal?" suggested Lalna. "Maybe it sucked up all our stuff..."

"Yeah, but that doesn't explain THIS!" retorted Sips, waving the axe in front of the scientist's face.

Xephos looked down at his hip. The scabbard was still there. "Okay guys, something really strange is going on here."

"Yeah, where did all our stuff go?" demanded Honeysuckle, swinging her diamond pickaxe experimentally.

Jacin shook her head and pointed to the portal. "Don't worry guys. We'll just go back to the Overworld and get our stuff back. No problem!"

"Yeah," agreed Xephos, and walked to the portal. He jumped up and stood in the middle of the swirling, misty portal stuff, expecting to see his vision fog up with purple and swirl disorientatingly, before spewing him out onto grass.

But this didn't happen. The spaceman stepped forwards and backwards, confused. He jumped out, then back in. The others tried the portal, too. But whatever they did, they could not escape the Nether.

"The Notch-damned portal isn't working!" swore Sips, jumping backwards. "And all we've got to defend ourselves with is THIS crap!"

He waved his axe angrily, and was about to swear vehemently, when Xephos stopped him.

"Hey, guys? You do know what happens if we can't get out of here? If we don't have anything else to live on? No food or anything?"

And then suddenly the enormity of their situation hit them.

They were trapped.


	9. Chapter 9: This Is A Disaster!

_Author's Note: EVERYONE IS SCREWED!_

"Screw the freakin' Nether..." muttered Xephos angrily, slashing at a passing magma cube. The slime-like monster garbled something before dying, leaving behind a single ball of magma cream.

"Ooh," said Jacin happily, picking the cream up and putting it in her pocket.

They had been walking around the Nether for the better part of what they assumed to be an hour. They had aquired nothing but netherrack, soul sand and, just now, a single ball of magma cream. They were all starving, they were all pissed, they were all thirsty, and above all, they were all lost.

Having abandoned the uncooperative Nether portal, even this hellish otherworld seemed to shun them. Nothing but a now-deceased magma cube and a lone pigman had passed their way, and everyone was starting to get a bit unnerved.

"There should be cats flying around," remarked Nips, gripping her iron axe tightly.

Lalna nodded in agreement. "Yeah, I know. It's weird."

Honeysuckle frowned. "What? Cats? Down here, in the Nether?"

Xephos was also confused. Since when did ocelots spawn down here in this unhospitable hell?

"No, it's what we call ghasts," explained Jacin briefly.

"Oh, okay."

They continued walking. After a time, Lalna spoke.

"This may be a weird thing to ask, but have you used your laser lately, Jacin?"

"Yeah, a bit," replied the builder. "Why?"

"And has its charge gone down?" persisted the scientist.

Jacin opened her mouth, then closed it, then checked the side of the laser that had the charge bar, then blinked. She flipped the laser around, and blinked again. Muttering something muffled, she turned the laser upside-down, peered down the barrel (don't do this at home, kids) and looked back at the side that had the charge bar.

Of course, I'll be proved wrong soon.

"There's no charge bar," said Jacin incredulously.

"Excuse me?" demanded Livid. "There's always a charge bar. There's _got_ to be a charge bar."

"There's not!" replied Jacin insistently, displaying the two blank white sides of the laser.

Xephos frowned. "What're you getting at, Livid?"

"Something weird's going on," sighed Livid once more. "These weapons... they're not right. I tried my wrench once, and it didn't get a scratch! And wrenches aren't exactly the most durable tools."

Looking down at his sword, Xephos had to admit that his sword hadn't taken any damage either. Not that he had used it much, but it was always pristine, always perfect. As an experiment, he thrust his sword into the netherrack before him, then drew it back out like it was Excalibur. No trace of any tampering.

"I think you're right," agreed Xephos. "These tools are so durable it's not right."

"Yeah, my pick hasn't taken the least bit of damage!" piped up Honeysuckle, holding up said pickaxe. She had been mining all their netherrack, and had tons of the stuff. And yet the pick was still sparkling faintly, still perfectly shaped, not a sign of any damage.

Xephos sighed and muttered, "This is a disaster..." so faintly that no-one heard.

It would not be the last time he said that.

* * *

Meanwhile, the remainder of their company was wandering around the Nether, just as hopelessly lost as the others. They were armed with the same weapons as their counterparts, and they felt equally pissed, hungry, thirsty and lost. Honeydew broke yet another netherrack block and jumped up to be greeted by an intriguing sight.

"Hey, guys!" the dwarf called suddenly. "There's a giant castle in front of us!"

"I'm pretty sure you mean a Nether fortress," corrected Talna, jumping up to join him. Then she gasped. "Oh my Score!"

"What's up?" chorused Sips and Sjin, clambering up the ledge to join them. Then they froze. Sips whistled, impressed.

"Guys, wait up!" said Zephari angrily, who was lagging behind. She stuck her sword into a magma cube, slaying it instantly. She scooped up the cream, stuffed it into her pocket, and chased after them. "I swear to Score if you went any faster I would've- _what in the heck is that_?!"

It was giant, and jet-black. Blacker than dyed wool, or obsidian. It was evidently made out of the same material as the male-female portal crafted by Lalna. But what was really amazing was its craftsmanship. Spires that reached up so far it carved a cavern in the ceiling pierced the sky, reaching up to the Overworld. A giant glossy polished door, possible made of mahogany. A giant trench filled with lava surrounded the castle. A bridge was lying over it, perched almost precariously. The windows were spun out of almost impossibly-thin sheets of midnight-blue glass.

"Ho. Ly. Shit."

Zephari had pretty much summed it all up.

"Who the heck built this monstrosity?!" demanded Twisted.

"No-one we know has this skill!" added Sjin. "No-one! Not even me!"

"Or Twisted," added Zephari. "Dear Score, this is..."

The scientist gestured, speechless. Sips frowned at the castle as if it had done him a great personal wrong.

"What the heck is this thing doing out here?!" exclaimed the stoic CEO. "This isn't right. This is... it's... it's just... I mean..."

The other four listened to Sips stammer for a while. Sjin found it quite entertaining. However, in the end, Sips just fell silent and folded his arms. It looked like it would be several years before he unfolded them again.

"It looks dangerous," advised Sjin. "We better steer clear..."

"Still though, there COULD be some really decent loot in there," mused Twisted absent-mindedly.

"AWESOME!" screamed Honeydew suddenly, bolting for the castle. "RALLY TO ME, FRIENDS!"

Sips and Sjin looked at each other and shrugged, before chasing after the impulsive dwarf.

Twisted and Zephari gaped after the counterparts, lost for words. Then, Talna sighed and beckoned.

"Let's go," she muttered.

Zephari face-palmed. "This is a disaster..."


	10. Chapter 10: Food, Glorious Food

_Author's Note: OKAY. Hai. This thing is now officially up on deviantART. YAY!  
_

"I'm. So. Hungry."

Xephos turned to face Honeysuckle, who was clutching her stomach dramatically and moaning about how hollow and empty it was. He sighed. She had started up about fifteen minutes ago, and had not ceased since.

"We know, Honeysuckle," sighed Jacin. "You've told us about fifty times now."

"Actually, this is the sixty-seventh time," pointed out Livid.

Nips raised an eyebrow. "You were... counting."

Lalna was silent.

Honeysuckle moaned. "I'M HUUUUNGRYYYYY...!"

Xephos ground his teeth so hard they almost turned into dust. Honeysuckle was so aggravating! Then again, so was Dew. They both had a kind of attitude that sapped energy from those around them and made them even more hyper.

"What d'you suggest, we stick a sword or something in a pigman to get meat?" demanded Nips, folding her arms. It looked unlikely that she would unfold them for several years at best.

"We COULD push some pigmen into fire and get cooked porkchops from them..." suggested Lalna absent-mindedly.

"That's a great idea!" exclaimed Honeysuckle, and rushed towards the nearest pigman.

Xephos facepalmed.

* * *

Honeydew peered around the jet-black corridor, Sips and Sjin lingering in the background. The girls had just arrived, having decided to take their time.

"Something tells me this isn't a good idea," whispered Twisted.

"What gave you the first idea, the actual castle or the fact that these guys thought that it WAS a good idea?" replied Zephari dryly.

"I really can't say," answered Twisted sheepishly.

Honeydew made a flapping shushing gesture with his hands, and peered around the corner once more. When he had ascertained that there was no visible threat, he beckoned widely with one arm and tip-toed (very loudly) around and down the corridor.

Sips and Sjin followed him, beginning to talk loudly. Talna punched Sjin on the arm - hard. He swore and whirled around, about to flash her the finger, when Honeydew intervened.

"Oi!" he hissed. "Lay off her, you jerk!"

"But she - " Sjin began to protest.

"Don't DARE lay a finger on her," warned Honeydew protectively.

Zephari said nothing, but raised her diamond sword threateningly. Looking from the dwarf to the spacewoman and back, Sjin realised that he was outnumbered, and ducked his head before dashing along.

Sips satisfied himself by sticking his tongue out at them before continuing down the corridor.

"Thanks guys!" said Twisted happily. Honeydew flashed her that infectious smile, and Zephari clapped the scientist on the shoulder in a friendly manner.

"We gotcha back, girl," she said, before picking up her pace.

Honeydew smiled again, and turned and ran forwards down the corridor, taking up his position as leader of their small company once more.

Talna sighed. Did she really like this dwarf? The male version of Honeysuckle? Would that be considered wrong?

The scientist shuddered. She promised herself that she would not think of that, and instead ducked her head and filled her mind with maths sums and various scientific jargon-like stuffs.

* * *

Honeysuckle crept up behind a snorting pigman. Licking her lips hungrily, she pushed the pigman ferociously into a nearby patch of fire. There was a bit of squealing, then the pigman twisted around and died, disappearing in a poof of smoke. Squealing with delight, the dwarf-lady bent down and scooped up the single cooked porkchop that the unlucky pigman had left behind.

"It works," said Honeysuckle, as she returned to the little company, her mouth filled with porkchop.

The other four looked at the dwarf-woman, all with varying degrees of disgust showing on their faces.

Honeysuckle turned from Xephos to Lalna to Nips to Jacin, then shrugged before stuffing the rest of the porkchop into her face.

"Thaaaat's disgusting," uttered Nips.

Jacin looked around and saw another pigman meandering around a naked flame. Experimentally, she pushed the pigman into the fire. It burned, thrashing and squealing. Then it died in a poof of smoke. Jacin picked up the two porkchops that the pigman had left behind and bit cautiously into one.

After some chewing, she declared after swallowing, "It's good."

"Toss some here," called Lalna. "I'm starving."

Jacin did so, and Livid devoured the porkchop eagerly. Xephos pushed another pigman into the flames, and came back with a full belly of his own. Nips folded her arms and pursed her lips, but in the end succumbed to the sweet smell of pork.

With their stomaches filled and the local pigmen population wiped out, the half-company set off, unknowingly walking in the direction of the mystery castle.

* * *

Honeydew's, Zephari's and Twisted's eyes widened as they saw Sips and Sjin running back down the corridor, yelling in shock and fear. The two dirt traders had been sent down to scout out the situation, while the other three hunkered down behind some nifty stairs.

The two were obviously distressed, however. Sips got to them first. Not being in peak physical shape, he doubled over and gestured wildly with his axe, unable to speak and nearly relieving Zephari of the burden of her head.

"What is it?" asked Twisted urgently, as she and Honeydew got to their feet. Zephari stayed sitting, cowering slightly from Sips' axe.

"Wither... Wither skeletons..." Sjin managed to blurt out, even as he cocked his mining laser and set it to long-range.

"Sorry?" said Zephari, as she got up and stilled Sips and his swinging axe. "Did you say Wither SKELETONS? As in, plural?"

Sips and Sjin nodded frantically. Zephari, Honeydew and Talna looked at each other helplessly.

"Well," declared Honeydew, "we're screwed."

The dwarf swung his pickaxe over his shoulder and assumed such a serious expression that he appeared a completely different dwarf. Talna gulped, then straightened her back and gripped her wrench tightly. The scientist was more of a lover, not a fighter. In fact, not even a lover. More like... a learner.

Zephari, however, was a fully-fledged fighter. She twirled her diamond sword, almost caressing it, then threw it into the air and caught it one-handed. Spinning it one more time, she turned to Sips and Sjin, who had somewhat recovered and were simply itching to get into the safety of hiding.

"Let's do this," declared Zephari.


	11. Chapter 11: Wither Attack

_Author's Note: Looks like there's a few things out of place... like pigmen damaged by fire and dropping porkchops! Oh, what's next? Wither skeletons with diamond swords?  
_  
Zephari charged out first, yelling a battle cry in space-tongue, her sword held aloft. Behind her followed Talna, swinging her wrench around like a crazy girl. Then there came Honeydew, screaming out another battle cry, this time in the language of the dwarves of Khaz Modan. Finally came Sips and Sjin. They were considerably less eager to risk their necks than the other three. Sips was pushing Sjin in front of him with the flat end of his axe, while gripping said axe until his normally metallic-coloured skin of his knuckles turned whiter than the snow made by a Zero Ring.

Then all of them screeched to a halt.

There was not one, not two, not even three, but five. Five Wither skeletons, not armed with the usual stone swords, but - strangely enough - with the weapons that matched their opponents. There were two at the far back, one with a mining laser and one with an iron axe. The two Wither skeletons nearer to the front were armed with a wrench and a diamond pickaxe, from left to right. And the foremost one was slightly taller than the rest of its entourage, with a razor-sharp diamond sword held in front of it.

"This is a disaster," uttered Zephari.

The Withers lunged at the small company. Zephari drew her sword and parried a blow from the sword-wielding Wither. Next to her, Honeydew was slashing at his Wither's legs, the blows from the Wither's pickaxe glancing off of his helmet. Twisted was ducking and dodging, almost dancing with the Wither skeleton as she counter-attacked with her wrench.

Behind them, Sips and Sjin were slowly inching their way around the battle, which was being forced up the corridor. The humans - and dwarf - were winning, and the two dirt traders had a plan to play dirty - no pun intended.

The two Withers behind their fellows were getting occasional hits into the battle. The laser-holding Wither was shooting with the accuracy of Teep. The axe Wither had the strength of three dwarves, but was extremely clumsy, and thus allowing Talna to get some extra hits in.

Sips and Sjin raised their weapons and, as one, brought them down on the skulls of their respective Withers.

The extremely painful blow was enough to render Sips' Wither defeated, and Sjin's damaged greatly. However, the latter dirt trader was too slow in blocking or dodging the Wither's punch, and staggered backwards as the Wither effect took over.

"SJIN!" yelled Sips, the attack from Talna's Wither missing by a miracle. He rushed to his friend's side, Sjin himself evidently in almost unendurable agony.

Meanwhile, down at the end of the corridor, Zephari and Honeydew were blocking and parrying hits from the Withers expertly. However, it was impossible to get a hit in, and both were quickly tiring.

"Where... are... the... others?" panted Zephari, her sword coming up near her face to defend.

"Down... there..." replied Honeydew, sidestepping to avoid his Wither's pickaxe swing.

Twisted was also having a bad time. She had fled up the corridor, drawing Sips' and her Wither away from her friends. She was badly injured, however, and the Wither effect had just worn off. As such, cuts, slashes and bruises were appearing all over her body, and her arm suddenly bent at an impossible angle. She realised, through the searing pain, that it had been broken.

They were screwed. Oh so screwed.

* * *

"Heeey! Check THAT out!"

Honeysuckle bounced on the balls of her feet excitedly, gesturing wildly towards that strange, giant castle.

"It's even got a moat!" exclaimed Nips. "Oh, this is... well, not fantastic, but still!"

"It's pretty awesome!" remarked Jacin interestedly.

Lalna shook his head. "It also looks pretty dangerous. We should turn ba-"

"A Wither!" warned Xephos suddenly, drawing his sword.

In fact, there were two Wither skeletons, in hot pursuit of an indistinguishable victim. As said victim got closer, they soon realised that it was... wait, what?!

"TALLY!" yelled Honeysuckle, Nips and Jacin happily, rushing to their friend.

"Something's... wrong..." said Livid quietly, frowning.

Xephos ignored the scientist, and attacked the Withers. They were severely injured, and out in the open they were in an unfamiliar territory, used to the confined corridors of Nether fortresses. But something WAS wrong...

"This one's got an axe!" warned Xephos, as he dispatched it. He did so as well with the other one, which was wielding a wrench.

"That one... had... wrench..." stammered Talna, who had sunk to her knees.

"S'okay, Tally," breathed Honeysuckle.

Nips clicked her fingers as she saw Twisted's broken arm. "Jacin! We need a splint, stat!"

The dirt trader didn't even bother to search her pockets. Instead, she held her arms out apologectically. "Sorry, Nips. Got nothing."

"Girls, quick!" urged Honeysuckle, eyeing her friend worriedly. The scientist's breathing was harsh and shallow, and she was clearly close to passing out.

"Chest!" called Xephos suddenly, pointing to said chest to the west, about twenty blocks away.

Loyally, Lalna got up and rushed to the chest. Looking into it, he breathed a sigh of relief as he saw nothing in there... save for some bandages that could be improvised to work as a splint.

The scientist ran back to his counterpart, who was close to fainting. Honeysuckle was frantically fanning the scientist, and Xephos was there too. Lalna quickly bound up his counterpart's arm. Twisted gritted her teeth and breathed harder, but other than that she didn't cry out.

"It's okay," sighed Honeysuckle at last. "You're gonna be okay, girl..."

"Where the hell IS everyone else?!" demanded Nips, evidently not the emotional type.

With an exceedingly hard effort, Talna pointed with her good right arm to the fortress with a moat. Then, she stammered, "There... Withers..."

And she fainted.


	12. Chapter 12: A New Player

_Author's Note: Chapter Four's name has been changed! Thank you to Bless for coming up with that one!  
_  
"Hey, Rythian!"

"Hm?" The mage looked up from his examination of an interesting hole in the ground. He pulled down his bandanna and hurried to keep up with Zoeya.

The technomage was looking out - in the cover of the trees - to Honeydew Inc. The unfamiliar factory towered over everything, dwarfing even the mighty mage standing before it. Raising an eyebrow, Rythian looked to his apprentice.

"Well?" he demanded. "What was so important you needed to y- WHAT THE HELL?!"

Teep blinked, then entered a brief raging fit. Zoeya was jumping up and down and gesturing and pointing wildly towards a giant portal made out of some unidentifiable black material.

"What is it Rythian? What is it? Huh huh huh? What iiiiss iiiiit?!"

"Be quiet for a second," requested Rythian, pulling her and the mute dinosaur sharpshooter down into the vegetation. "Now, that right there is something that I thought I'd never lay eyes on... especially in amongst all this science..."

"Why?" urged Zoeya. "What is it? It looks like a weird kind of lollipop!"

"No, it's not a lolli - "

"A mushroom?"

"No, it's - "

"A mushroom lollipop!"

Rythian sighed heavily and exasperatedly. Then, he looked up at the portal cautiously, before ducking back down and explaining to his apprentice what it was in hushed tones.

"That's an _ianua gender_, a kind of parallel dimension portal," he explained. "It creates a portal on one side, but not on the other. Not only that, but you get sucked into a parallel dimension where you, and everyone you know, is the opposite gender!"

Zoeya breathed air out excitedly. "Ooooh, that's cool. Wait, does that apply to mooshrooms?"

"What," said Rythian disbelievingly.

"Because if we went through, and went back to Blackrock, would Daisy be a boy, and Steven be a girl, and Nilesy Jr. be a girl?"

"Well, technically ye- "

"Would the wolves be different?"

"Probabl- "

"Would the golems?"

"I don't know if they have genders..."

"What about the mushrooms?"

Rythian glared at his apprentice. "Now you're just speaking crazy."

"But Baby Jim! BARRY! Teep! Super Jim! What about - "

"I DON'T KNOW. But we are NOT going in there. Okay?"

"...Okay, Rythian."

* * *

A dimension away, Sips had managed to drag his best friend into a handy little cranny he had found hidden in the walls. Desperately, he tried to heal his near-to-death friend, rummaging frantically through his pockets even though he knew it was fruitless.

"Sips..." said Sjin through gritted teeth. His wound from the Wither was dripping with the Nether mob's signature poison.

"Hang on hang on hang on I'm working on it!" snapped Sips, angry that he couldn't do anything to help his friend. "Ugh, there's nothing in here...!"

Sjin was close to passing out, Sips could see that much. The normally apathetic lumberjack was now searching the little branch-off for a miracle. A chest, an item, even the sight of a friend would be helpful -

"Ummm... excuse me?"

Sips looked up from his frantic searching and instantly drew his axe, pointing at the person in front of him. Then he lowered the weapon, relieved at who he saw.

"Sips!" burst out MintyMinute happily, rushing to meet the CEO.

"Minty!" he exclaimed happily. "Am I glad to see you!" Then, thoughtfully and very surprisedly, "How did you get here?"

"I was going to Honeydew Inc. to buy some jaffa cakes for the Captive Creeper," explained the bartender. "I saw this portal, and I tripped and fell in."

Suddenly, Sips remembered with a shock his friend back at the cranny. "Follow me!" he yelled, without any further explanation, and ran back to Sjin.

Later on, he couldn't tell anyone how relieved he was to find Sjin alive and... not _well_, but definitely breathing.

"Sjin!" uttered both Sips and Minty.

"Hi, Sips," said Sjin, smiling weakly. He turned to Minty, and his face lit up even more. "Hi, Minty. Um, mind me for asking what the bloody hell you're doing here?"

Minty recounted how she had ended up in the alternate universe, and that she had met her counterpart at what was in this dimension the Caged Creeper. SaltySecond had directed her into the Nether, and had said that he would have come with her. He had done so, but they had ended up spawning in different areas. It was all pretty confusing.

After Sjin had finished recounting their adventures, Minty shook her head.

"All this for some glowstone," she sighed. Then she brightened a bit. "But I did ask Salty to pick some up. He should have done so."

"We'll worry about that when we get outta here with our lives," said Sips, ruining the mood. He peered out of the cranny and blew a sigh of relief.

"What's up?" asked Sjin, trying to get up but letting out a strangled cry as pain shot through about every part of his body.

The other two rushed to his side, panicked. Sjin shook his head and tried to force himself up. Minty looked worried, but followed Sips' example by hoisting her boyfriend so that he was propped up on her shoulders.

"You okay?" asked Sips. Sjin, although pale, nodded, albeit with some difficulty.

The lopsided trio managed to lead Sjin out into the corridor, after Sips had ascertained that all was safe. They hadn't gotten far, however, when they were stopped in their tracks by friendly, familiar voices.

"Sips! Sjin!"

They turned around, and were filled with an almost unbearable sense of relief when they saw Honeydew and Zephari rushing towards them, slightly bloodied but in one piece.

Zephari screeched to a halt. "Phew! You guys are safe!" Then she eyed Sjin's wounds. "Umm, scratch that."

"I'm assuming you're Xephos' counterpart?" asked Minty. "I'm MintyMinute, the counterpart of SaltySecond."

Zephari's eyes widened. "...Wow. A girl Salty!" She laughed.

"Sjin doesn't look okay," remarked Honeydew, unhelpfully. Then he looked to Minty, and was suddenly interested.

"Well, hello there, little lady!" he smirked, stroking his beard.

Sips snorted. Sjin's pale face suddenly flushed, and Minty smiled awkwardly.

"Sorry, dwarf, I'm taken," she said mock-apologectically.

The spacewoman suddenly took charge once more. "Okay, we can have time for introductions and flirting later. Right now, we gotta find the others and get outta here!"

The others nodded, and the small company began the way out of the Notchforsaken fortress.


	13. Chapter 13: The Caged Creeper

_Author's Note: I might have a SHADOW of an idea for a sequel to this..._

"GUYS!"

Honeysuckle, who had been the lookout for the other half of the company, called out in excitement to both her side and the others who had just come up over the crest of the Netherrack hill.

"Mn?" murmured a suddenly-roused-from-sleep Talna.

Up over the hill came Honeydew, Zephari, Sips, Sjin, and...

"Minty?" said Lalna incredulously, approaching them. "How did you get here?"

"Who CARES?!" burst out Nips suddenly. "The main thing is, these idiots are ALIVE!"

"I know, right?!" smiled Jacin. "I'm so relieved!"

Nips folded her arms and pursed her lips. "I can't believe they didn't get killed..."

In spite of their situation, in spite of Sjin and Twisted's injuries, everyone laughed. And, soon, the laughing had spread and infected everyone, and eventually everyone was shaking and breathless with laughter.

It was Xephos who got back to business. "Alright... any idea on getting out of here?"

* * *

Somehow, with all ten members of their company, and with an extra member to boot, their search for the Nether portal seemed to last for about a minute. Minty recounted her adventures after hearing the others', and about fifty questions were answered, from both sides. The best part had to be when Minty withdrew some glowstone right before they stumbled upon the portal.

There was the usual swirling vertigo-inducing purple particle act, then all eleven stepped nimbly out of the portal...

...and into a bit of land outside the Caged Creeper.

"Minty!" came a voice, like Minty's except deeper. SaltySecond came out of the Caged Creeper, clad in rough leather chaps, a short-sleeved tunic with a single flower sown on to the left shoulder, and holding some buckets of milk.

Pushing his trimmed blonde hair out of blue eyes, he first rushed to Jacin.

"Are you okay, Jacinta?" he urged.

He was the only one allowed to call Sjin's counterpart by her full name. Jacin smiled and nodded, but then indicated her counterpart.

"Sjin isn't, though."

"Oh!" exclaimed Salty, spinning around. "Sorry 'bout that. I'm SaltySecond, bartender and owner of the esteemed Caged Creeper!"

Then he became serious. "Let's take a gander at those bruises, eh?"

* * *

Salty whistled through his teeth, eyes wide in awe. "What an adventure! I'll never call any of you - counterpart or not - puny again!"

Sjin smiled weakly as he saw Minty nodding fiercely. He recalled that little venture into the Nether, and how Minty had thought he and Sips too puny for the Nether.

"So," said Sips expectantly, "glowstone."

"Ah, yes!" said Salty, suddenly ducking behind the counter and bringing out an armful of glowstone dust. "Sorry, I haven't had time to convert it," he said apologetically.

"Don't worry about it," said Lalna, scooping up the glowstone. "This is just enough for the portal!"

Suddenly, Honeydew was struck by an idea. Leaning over the counter, he whispered to Salty, "How's the ale 'round here?"

"Only the best!" said Salty smugly.

"It's ALMOST as good as mine," added Minty, putting lots of emphasis on the second word.

"But you're _counterparts_," pointed out Zephari, confused. "How can it be ALMOST as good as yours?"

Minty opened and closed her mouth for a few seconds. Then, evidently having no real argument, and also realising that she resembled a fish, let it go, albeit quite huffily.

There was laughter all round. Twisted and Sjin laughed loudest, the healing potions having done their job well. After downing the rest of his milk, Xephos stood up.

"Well, no point lingering," he said, making for the door. "We best get that portal done..."

"Aw, c'mon, Xeph!" whined Sjin suddenly. "Can't we put our feet up, relax a bit?"

_He can be really whiny when he isn't injured..._

"Sjin, we gotta get this done," muttered Xephos, hand on the door handle.

"C'mooooon, Xephos!" exclaimed Sips suddenly.

"Yeah, can't we stay a bit?" pleaded Lalna.

"I wanna try this ale!" added Honeydew.

Xephos sighed and looked to the counterparts for help. But they were already ordering their drinks.

After giving in to a glorious facepalm, Xephos obliged.

* * *

...

...

...

Xephos blinked as he pushed himself up. What... where was he? Last thing he remembered was - aagh, what a headache - was the Caged Creeper, and that last beer tankard, and Honeydew and Honeysuckle disappearing somewhere, and -

Oh sweet Notch.

The spaceman sat up, his back as stiff as a board, the realisation thundering through him like lightening.

Glowstone.

Where where where was the glowstone?! He turned his head fretfully, trying to get his bearings, then realised that he was in the Jaffa Cafe. How he was here he had no idea...

He felt the hard floor underneath him. However they had gotten back, Zephari must have taken his bed. Well, that was understandable, seeing as this technically WAS her dimension...

Groaning with the effort, he stood up. Although his head swam and ached and throbbed, his stomach didn't churn. Good. No chucking up foreseeable in the near future, then.

It must have been something in Salty's ale, to prevent vomiting. He certainly felt a lot better then that one time he had tried to drink a full tankard of dwarven beer. He had been bedridden for weeks. Spacemen didn't really get around to getting drunk and having a party, clearly.

It was dark outside, but getting lighter fast, as was the nature of Minecraftia. As his headache cleared, Xephos recalled that Lalna and Talna had stuck to water or milk. Evidently, they were the ones that had brought them all back to the Jaffa Factory.

Looking out, he saw some extra lighting source slowly dimming. Its source was glowstone, and the portal looked about half-constructed. Smiling, Xephos stepped out of the Jaffa Cafe.

As time went on, everyone slowly woke up and cleared their headaches, then wandered outside to assist and survey the construction of the portal. However, no-one realised that one empty bed.

And Honeydew and Honeysuckle arrived together, at the same time.


	14. Chapter 14: Time To Go Home

_Author's Note: I have been sick. There. Take my excuse.  
_

The moonlight of Tekkitopia sliced down through the cloud-cover, glancing off of its marble walls. The towering factory was really a spectacle to behold, its looming presence before the Jaffa Cafe, Brewery and currently empty Hot Dog Stand casting a glorious kind of alabastar glare across the little town-like cluster of buildings before it. The cool, gentle, breezy kind of beauty was currently being fully admired by a dwarf and a scientist.

"I like the moon," sighed Talna. "It's so... beautiful. So calm, so relaxing..."

"Mmmm..." Honeydew said nothing. Being a dwarf, he much preferred tunneling hard underground with a stomach full of ale rather than sitting up here with the counterpart of one of his best friends, looking up at a hunk of floating rock in space.

_Maybe Xephos or Zephari would like to take my place,_ mused Honeydew.

Suddenly, Twisted slipped on her lab coat squashed beneath her. Exclaiming in surprise, she grabbed on to Honeydew to keep her upright.

"Whoah!" he exclaimed, propping her back up. "Are you okay?"

Talna blushed a deep furious crimson. "Um, yeah, I think so..."

Honeydew laughed. "You look like an apple or something!"

Twisted began laughing alongside the dwarf. Right now, the portal could wait. This was as perfect as anything was going to get.

* * *

They spent the rest of the week in that crazy genderbent parallel universe of Zephari's, Honeysuckle's, Talna's, Nips' and Jacin's. They went around the server, introducing and being introduced. There was a lot of awkwardness between Xephos and Lorodian, and a lot of chat between Sjin and Nellsy. They went to Blackstone Fortress to visit Rythelle, Zack and Neep, but there was no-one home... save for a LOT of rubble.

"What the heck happened here?!" exclaimed Xephos, Honeydew and their counterparts.

Livid and Twisted shot each other a glance and quickly ushered everyone out of the vicinity. Many questions were fired at them by Xephos, Zephari, Honeydew and Honeysuckle, but none were answered.

Back at the Factory, Twisted took Lalna aside, away from the others. When she was sure that they were both alone, she sighed and looked at her counterpart.

"I feel bad," she said in a small voice. "About the nuke, about the war, about... well, everything."

"I do, too," admitted Lalna. "But we can't help it if they were stupid enough to try and stop the nuke. We warned them, didn't we? But what did they do?"

Twisted said nothing.

"They _ignored_ us. It's their fault, really. We would NEVER have set off that nuke, not unless they asked nicely."

Talna cringed. "But we could've _killed_ someone - !"

Livid shushed her gently. "We could have. But we didn't."

Apart from that, everything was pretty good. They worked on the Factory, smoothing out the final details and all that. The two spacepeople and two dwarves went to check out Nips Co. It was pretty much exactly like Sips Co, except a bit neater.

"Our sorting facility is better," said Sips bluntly.

"Our sorting facility is messier," said Sjin, a bit embarrassed.

Nips stuck her tongue out. Sips flashed her the finger. Jacin placed a consoling hand on Nips' shoulder. Sjin simply shrugged and dumped some junk into the dropbox.

And then it was time to go home.

The end of the week arrived, the dawn of Monday.

The glowstone's natural light was ebbing down, slowly being taken over by the rising sun. The Tekkit boys were gathered out at the Factory, preparing to say their goodbyes to their counterparts.

"Goodbye," said Sips tightly. "I hope you die."

"The same to you," said Nips.

"So do you think that we'll be able to converse with these things between dimensions?" asked Talna, holding up her own small black nub with her good arm.

"Yeah, I've modified it a bit, so it should do the job," replied Lalna confidently, screwing his on to the back of his neck. Painlessly, of course.

"Hey, I found some uranium!" exclaimed Jacin, appearing out of the Jaffa Factory and holding up said uranium happily.

"Whose 'ranium?" asked Sjin, following her.

"Um, my... myranium. Yeah."

"Jacin, what're you doing in Tehran?!"

Honeydew and Honeysuckle were clinging to each other, bawling like babbies.

Xephos and Zephari were leaning against the portal, watching their friends exchange words and final farewells. Xephos sighed and looked over to his counterpart.

"So," he said, "in the end, everything worked out, huh?"

"Yup!" said Zephari happily. "Like in the battle with Pheisral."

"Wha- oh, yeah, that's your Israphel, right?"

"...Who?"

"Y'know, pale-faced, creeper-faced, two-faced, all those faces?"

"Oh... oh yeah, okay."

"Mmmm."

"Yup."

"So," said Xephos, after an extremely awkward pause, "d'you think that you'd be able to visit?"

Zephari shrugged. "We could. Or maybe you could again."

Xephos laughed. "Well, remember to keep this portal open!"

"We might move it," mused Zephari, smiling. "It's a bit out in the open, huh?"

Xephos nodded. "I'll get Livid on that."

And then it was time to say goodbye. There were fist-bumps exchanged, high-fives exchanged, and middle fingers exchanged. The two dwarves bear-hugged (or dwarf-hugged, whatever suits you), then they were gone.

"You'll visit some time, right?" whined Jacin.

"Yeah, maybe," said Xephos, smiling at Zephari.

She smiled back, and they high-fived.

The Tekkit boys turned to the portal and looked at the white portal mass. Sips stepped through enthusiastically, before being followed - a bit regretfully - by Sjin. Livid turned, about to yell out a few more questions to his counterpart, but was cut short as Honeydew pushed him in. The dwarf then jumped in after him. Before stepping through, though, Xephos took one last look behind him, at the people who were his friends and yet not. They waved.

He waved back, a smile tugging at his lips.

Then he stepped through.


	15. Epilogue: One Month Later

_Author's Note: This is it, guys! It's been a fun ride!  
_

**ONE MONTH LATER**

"Hey, Xephos!"

"Oh, hey guys! What's up?"

"Nothing much," said Xephos happily, smiling as he landed on Sips Co. land. Sips and Sjin rushed out to meet them, Minty and Nilesy following behind.

"How ya doing, everyone?" greeted Honeydew. "Hey, Minty. Nilesy."

The poolman and bartender waved. Xephos, instead of frowning in confusion, grinned.

"Where's Lalna?" he asked, as Sips and Sjin led them around the back of the compound.

Sips shrugged as he fingered his axe, swinging it over his back and letting it rest over his right shoulder. Sjin stepped back, alarmed.

"Careful, Sips, you'll amputate something for me!" warned Sjin.

The others laughed. Nilesy looked up and began waving and yelling suddenly.

"Hey! HEY, LALNA! Xeph and Dew are here!"

"Perfect!" called back the blonde, goggle-wearing scientist. "Come on over, guys, I'm just about to start!"

The six of them hurried to where Livid was waiting. The rest of the server's inhabitants were there, apart from Rythian and Zoeya. Teep was there, though. He had his bandanna on, and drew back his bowstring threateningly as the latecomers hurried to take their seats on what materials they had. Honeydew had to stand.

There was an extra person there. Well, maybe "hologram" was more accurate. The blue, projected figure of TwistedTeacup, Livid's genderbent counterpart, was standing next to Lalna, conversing with him enthusiastically.

"So that's Nilesy - " began Lalna, pointing at the poolman, who was chatting animatedly with Lomadia. Then, suddenly, he remembered something. Reaching into his pocket, he tossed some black nubs to Xephos and Honeydew.

"Screw them on the back of your neck," instructed Twisted, as the heroes fumbled with the catch and had to stoop down in the grass to search for them.

"Does it hurt?" asked Xephos fearfully, as Honeydew practically jabbed the thing into his neck.

"Yup," said Sips smugly. "Like ten-thousand knives being driven into the back of your neck!"

"Shut up, Sips," snapped Sjin, though he was smiling.

Gulping in anticipation, Xephos screwed the nub on to the back of his neck hesitantly. Upon feeling nothing, he chucked some stone at the sniggering Sips.

"Ow!" he exclaimed, rubbing the side of his head where the rock had made contact and shooting the spaceman a murderous glance. He began reaching for his axe, but was thankfully interrupted by Lalna.

"Okay, settle down everyone!" he called out authoratively. Everyone did so, albeit disgruntledly.

"So," Lalna began, "as you know, about a month or so ago, the workers at Honeydew Inc. created a portal to another dimension."

"You mean YOU created it!" jeered Sips, to laughter.

Lalna smiled sheepishly. "Yeah, I did. Anyway, the black nubs I just gave you are projecting throughout space and time, and back to this particular parallel dimension. Now, the Honeydew Inc. workers found a pretty weird world on the other side of the portal. We found everyone here, from this server, and all the buildings and creations and machines and magic in perfect working condition, exactly as we had left them. However, the people we knew were - for lack of a better term - genderbent."

There was an outbreak of mutters and discussion in amongst the others. Teep shot a few flaming arrows into the sky to quiet them all down. Surprisingly, it was very effective, as everyone shut up immediately and directed their - slightly startled - attention back to Livid.

He cleared his throat. "Um, thanks, Teep."

"And here's proof!" announced Talna, both grandly and unexpectedly. "I am Talna, or TwistedTeacup, and I work at Honeydew Industries! I am the genderbent counterpart of the scientist you know as LividCoffee, and I am presenting this here for you all, alongside my male self."

She cleared her throat before continuing.

"The first portal to my dimension has been destroyed, as well as the portal on this side. However, Lalna and I have decided that it would be right to erect another, one in a safe and secluded location, one that would be made in the same spot in both dimensions, and one that everyone would be allowed to use.

"And so we need your acceptance," continued Lalna. "We need your agreement, your _word_, that under NO circumstances will this portal be used for evil. And yes, starting wars counts as evil."

He shuffled his feet awkwardly, then added, "I know. I've been there."

The blue-eyed scientist looked up, and looked at each of his friends - and enemies - in the eyes. Sips and Sjin, Lomadia and Nilesy, Martyn and Toby, Minty and Teep. As he looked at each of them, he saw that they were nodding. They were agreeing. Pledging. Silently, but pledging nonetheless. They knew that. He knew that. They all knew that.

And, finally, those clever blue eyes came to rest on Xephos and Honeydew. The heroes looked, not at Lalna, but at each other. They were conversing quietly, nudging each other occasionally. Suddenly, they felt the scientist's eyes on them, and they started, jerking their heads around and hastily nodding as they saw the staring scientist.

Lalna smiled. Twisted smiled too, beside him. Suddenly, the tension was broken. Animated chatter broke out in amongst the Tekkitopians. Lalna called out that they were allowed to leave now, and they did so, some alone, some in a pair with another. Sips and Sjin leapt to their feet and ran out to their compound, making sure that there were no "harmless pranks" being played.

Talna's smile grew broader, but was quickly extinguished as she seemed to hear the other-dimensional cries of her fellow Honeysuckle Industries workers. Swearing softly to herself, she tucked a lock of hair behind her ear and smiled sheepishly at her counterpart.

"Sorry, Lalna, gotta go," she said apologectically. "See you soon?"

"Definitely," replied Livid determinedly.

She smiled one last time, her eyes shifting over to Xephos, then to Honeydew. Something shifted in her holographic eyes, then the hologram of TwistedTeacup fizzled out into nothingness, disappearing back into her own dimension.

Xephos and Honeydew didn't leave, though. They smiled as Lalna, or LividCoffee, walked towards them, stretching and yawning widely.

"Nice speech," teased Honeydew, punching the scientist on the arm as the trio turned to the towering Jaffa Factory in the distance.

"Yeah," smiled Lalna tiredly. "I think it went pretty well."

Xephos sighed and looked up to the sky, strained by the setting sun of Tekkitopia. Somewhere out there, up in space, up in the cosmos where he had fallen from, there was another dimension. Maybe more. Definitely more. He felt a broad grin break out across his face.

"Come on," he said. "Let's go home."

**TO BE CONTINUED...**


End file.
